If I won the lottery.

Today I was asked what I would do if I won the lottery (considering it was a large payout). I thought about it and here is what I would do: First, get an attorney and talk to my financial planner. Duh. Then, Buy my Dad his Corvette. Buy cars for my younger sister and my brother. Pay off my other sister's car and buy her a better house. Pay off my parent's house. Help out a few extended family members and friends. Buy myself a house in a nice quiet part of the country (preferably in the Pacific Northwest). Buy myself 2 cars, one being a Subaru WRX Sti. Make sure I would setup with my financial planner that I wouldn't work ever again. Then travel. Everywhere. Also, setup a trust for when I die that after any expenses are paid, all monies are given away. That's what I would do. What would you do?

In the year 2011...

Woo, what a year. I did this: 1. Quit my job. 2. Started a new one. 3. Rode a roller coaster of life. 4. Had a good time. 5. Lost 40 pounds. 6. Survived the ride of life. 7. Talked a lot about a lot to a lot of people. 8. Lost/Gained. 9. Finished writing for my year long writing project because... 10. I turned 30! 11. Had the best birthday ever! Really, turning 30 was the best thing I ever did. 12. Decided that so far, my goal for this year is accomplished. 13. Decided that next year, 2012, I will do more and my goal is to: 14. Continue on a path of self-improvement both physically (30 more pounds! and even better shape) and... 15. Complete an Associate's Degree (my second one), this time in Accounting. 16. Also, this year, I enjoyed being. It was good just being able to be: 17. Home. 18. Around and there for friends here and there. 19. Able to do things I wouldn't normally do because I was gone like: 20. Seeing some amazing bands play live: St. Vincent, Fleet Foxes, Bon Iver, Damien Jurado, Viva Voce and Wild Flag. Here's to more great music next year. Thanks to everyone. You all made my year. You all know who you are. There is not a "no thanks" list as I am beyond grateful to everyone at all times and in all ways. I hope I was as good as a friend/person to all of you. A special thanks goes to "Her" because "She" made me grow up and in ways I never thought I would. A complete challenge in every way. Thank you for everything, you made it all worthwhile. You really did. Words cannot express my gratitude. You honestly kept me alive. Thank you. May 2012 be even better. Here's to that!

November 23, 2011. 8:39PM

This is a crosspost from Book #10 at Liberty Market where this is also written as ink on a page: Today, I left something behind, my best friend. Things got way too fucked up with her and I had to cut her from my life. I couldn't take it anymore. Everyone says I made a good descision. I need to focus on myself. Maybe they're right. And, so go I. Alone. Again. Away from my best friend. Sad am I. Just sad. I know many tears will be shed but it is all for the best. I was her best friend, the one who knew her better than any other. But she broke my heart and left me for another. Just so sad it came to this. I wish it hadn't. Maybe we'll be friends again. 13 years just doesn't go completely away. Hope is eternal and maybe after I find myself after this, she'll be there as my friend again. I hope so. I will miss her, I know. She was it for me. Now, I have to let her go for me. No one said it would be easy. But for now, it is finished. I cried as I said goodbye. She said, until we meet again. So true. Dear friend, I hope to see you again one day. Until then...

Twenty. Ten.

Well, 2010 was a year. A year of amazing experiences for sure, full of lost time, missed connections, re-connections and deepening friendships and relationships. For this, I am grateful to many people, mainly you, the reader and especially those of you who either "friend me" on Facebook or "follow me" on Twitter. I am grateful to you all. Some of you are more important than others and you know who you are. This year also saw projects begin and end in my relentless pursuit of bettering myself and my pursuit of learning who I am and how I can use that knowledge to create not only a better environment for myself but creatively too. I've started writing everyday (mostly) in a journal to help map myself out. It's (mostly) working. If anything, it's a fine experiment. I still am taking a photo a day (mostly) and that is something I still enjoy as it is a reminder of what I have done, even if it seems insignificant. I am thinking about how much further I can still stretch my creativity, so at the beginning of this upcoming year I am going to go through the book "The Artist's Way". I am pretty excited about that. I want to see how much more I can learn. This next year is also going to be one of a milestone too, my 30th birthday. Wow. As much as it seems like I don't feel that old or don't seem that old, I will be. I am pretty excited as I hope by that time I will be able to figure things out a bit more on what I want to achieve in my life. I also hope to figure that out in my pursuit of a more creative me. I am excited too as I have a few things up my sleeve that I will continue to think about pursuing too. I hope for lots of personal growth in the coming year. All in all, a good year. Weather's been rough, time's been tough, but I've made it through to another day everyday. I have made it. I am glad. And of course, here are some of my favorite things of 2010: Music: Best album: MGMT "Congratulations" Runners up: Damien Jurado "Saint Bartlett" (just barely) Best EP: Damien Jurado & Richard Swift "Other People's Songs" Get it FREE here: http://http://otherpeoplessongs.tumblr.com/ Best song: "Hello Sunshine" from the EP listed above People that deserve to be mentioned: Joe, Cindy, David, Kiersten, Anthony, Courtney, Erich, Kristen, Chantel, Brian, Mike and Reese. Thank you. And as always, thanks to my wonderful parents and my siblings. I have the greatest family. Ever.

46 States, 4 Countries, 2 Continents

This is the extent of my travels so far in my life. I know I am young (really, 29 is young), but I really still have such a strong desire to almost conquer the world as it were. I am almost done traveling all of these great lower 48 states (with only Maine and Rhode Island left) by driving a truck, which, although it is a job, it's still a blast. Being able to have the opportunity to go places is so great. But still, I want more and I'm not sure where this is necessarily coming from and I don't know what to do and how to use it to some sort of benefit, which is what I do want to do. I have friends that live overseas as Christian missionaries. Am I to be doing that? (Sorry, but probably not.) All I know is I want to travel. Every time I read about someone traveling somewhere or hear about it, I just get so jealous. It is almost I feel as if I don't use the opportunity to travel, I'll lose it. Now, I understand people I know are extremely jealous of my own travels (although I sometimes don't get it as to me this is a job). I think, to me at least, it seems like this desire was drilled into my subconscious and it is slowly to come to life. Let me explain. When I was little I had a piece of paper hanging on my wall with my name and definition of my name and a Bible verse to match that definition. Mine was labeled "traveler". For the record, I never really wanted to travel until I moved to Arizona and even more now I got the job I have now. No real desire until I saw the world that there was to explore. This world is amazing, truly a spectacular place worth exploring. Also, when I was little, I had more than a few people tell me that I was supposed to be a missionary. I was told that so often. but as for now, I'm not really willing to serve in that capacity. However if it is for something else, say a humanitarian group, that's fine, I'm not a strong practicer of religion any more. I really just wish i could figure this whole thing out. One thing I have to do is stop reading travel stories, stop watching travel stories, stop listening to travel stories. It is getting quite annoying.

What Am I Listening To?

Doing what I do, I get this question a lot. Because I do need to pass the time doing something and I do listen to a lot of stuff. First off, I do not listen to commercial radio. Ever. I don't care, I have better things to do than listen to bunch of commercials. Second, if there is an NPR station within my truck's antenna's reach, I'm listening to it. If not, it's iPod or the few CD's I've brought with me. Because with over 14,000 songs I can possibly load onto my iPod, I hardly can run out of music. But mostly, I am listening to podcasts, most of which are public radio programs that I miss or want to hear again. Here is the list (in no particular order): CBC Radio 3 New Music Canada Track of the Day from the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation     radio3.cbc.ca The Dinner Party Download (KPCC)     dinnerpartydownload.com The iTunes Weekly Rewind     itunes.com/weeklyrewind KCRW's Guest DJ Project     kcrw.com KCRW's Morning Becomes Eclectic KCRW's Today's Top Tune KEXP Song of the Day     kexp.org Marketplace from American Public Media (APM)     marketplace.org Marketplace Morning Report from APM Marketplace Money from APM Marketplace After The Bell from APM The Monocle Weekly     monocle.com MPR: The Current Song of the Day     thecurrent.org The New York Times Popcast     nytimes.com/ref/mutlimedia/podcasts.html NPR: All Songs Considered Podcast     npr.org/allsongs NPR: Live Concerts from All Songs Considered NPR: Second Stage from All Songs Considered NPR: Car Talk Podcast     cartalk.com NPR: Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me Podcast     npr.org/waitwait NPR: World Cafe: Next from WXPN     worldcafe.npr.org ON The Media (WNYC and NPR)     onthemedia.org PRI's The World: Global Hit     theworld.org/global-hit Savage Love Podcast     savagelove.net (Warning: Hilarious, but SEXUALLY EXPLICIT!) Studio 360 with Kurt Andersen (WNYC and PRI)     studio360.org Wired Playlist Audio Podcast (Wired Magazine)     wired.com/underwire WNYC's Radio Lab (WNYC and NPR)     radiolab.org All of these can be found on the Podcasts page in iTunes. I also randomly tweet either song titles or artists too here: twitter.com/scottaak. And I also have a last.fm page too, last.fm/scottak. Any other questions? Leave a comment here or send me a tweet.

Let's be honest here.

First off, I don't care. I don't care about places, people or things. I don't care about you, me, myself, and/or I. I don't care about your dog/cat/hamster/gerbil/lizard/snake/fish/iguana/lemur/sloth/ferret. I don't care about your job/life/relationship/sex/creed/nationality/gender/sexual orientation. I don't care about your views on politics/religion/spots/news/business/opinion. I don't care about how you may think the world will end/how you think the world should be run/how "if it was my world, I would do this." I don't care if the sky is falling. I don't care. Seriously, I don't care because of this one reason: IT DOES NOT MATTER. And a second reason: YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS LIFE AND THERE IS MOST LIKELY SOMEONE WHO HAS HAD A NEARLY SIMILAR EXPERIENCE TO WHAT YOU HAVE HAD IN LIFE THEY ONLY HAD A DIFFERENT REACTION TO IT BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT YOU. Ahem, thank you for your time.